Another Good Sign

This past week, Nate and I had the opportunity to go out of town by ourselves. It was a welcomed break. It was great to be able to spend the time with just the two of us and not have an adoption hanging over our head and the stress of being in a foreign country.

It was also a good opportunity for us to see how Daughter of Purpose would do without us for a few days. I had a feeling she'd do okay, but as I began to write out information about her for my friend who would be caring for her--admittedly I got a bit nervous. I started to wonder if this was such a good idea, especially because she was getting sick as we were leaving town.

Before leaving, we had a lot of good talks with Daughter of Purpose to make sure she understood that she would be going with her big sister to my friend's house for a few days and that Mommy and Daddy would be back. She seemed to comprehend what we were doing and had only one request. She wanted to be able to call us or have us call her each day. No problem!

Well, she did have one other request...she wanted to go in my friend's pool while she stayed there. Ummm...how do you get a child from Murmansk, Russia to understand that it would be too cold? It's like the phrase, "too cold" is not in her scope of comprehension! I gave my friend permission to throw her into the pool so she'd understand what we kept telling her, but I think they got through the week without the physical demonstration. :)

Anyway, we are back from our trip and happy to report that Daughter of Purpose did an amazing job. My friend told us that she seemed to really understand what was going on and missed us in a healthy way. Yeah!

We are pleased with this for many reasons, but one of them being because we are currently praying about going on a short-term mission to Haiti with our church this summer. We have the opportunity to go and help finish up the construction and then outfitting the inside of an orphanage for use. Over the past few months, God has taught our family much about Haiti and given us a love for the country. God has given us a passion for orphans so we very much want to be a part of this project. At this point, we are taking one step at a time toward the trip and continue to pray that God will close the doors if this trip is not for us. Thus far, the doors are wide open. We ask you to pray with us that God would continue to guide us in what direction He wants us to go and that He would give us wisdom in all of the details that would need to go into something like this.

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

Procedure Complete

The procedure that we have been waiting for has finally been completed. As you can read from a previous post, we headed to Shriners Hospital last week at a very last minute pace. We did manage to change all of our plans and get her to the hospital on time. A 5:30 am arrival time comes very early in the morning! Nate and I both commented that it was the day that went on and on and on! I guess that's what happens when you get up before the sun!

Once we arrived at the hospital and got DOP checked in, we quickly realized this was not just a casual procedure. She was treated like an operative patient. We had to go through pre-op, procedure, doctor coming out to talk with us and recovery. It was all very official.

I do have to say that Shriners did an amazing job of preparing DOP for what was to happen. The Child Life Specialist arrived at 6:30 am and began walking her through about what would happen. They had a binder full of pictures that showed her each step of the way. After all, she was just here to take a nap (wink, wink). She got to see the 3 "stickers" that she would put on and where they would go. She saw the mask she would put on and even got to smell its cherry flavor! She saw the room she'd go into and where she would be when she was done "sleeping." We made sure that she knew where we would be all through the process. Certainly making sure we'd be there when she woke up.

Once in the pre-op room, they gave her a personal DVD player with whatever she wanted to watch. It was no question that Scooby Doo was on deck. Thank goodness for Scooby Doo because it got her "in the zone" and she didn't give a hoot what they did to her as long as she could continue to watch Scooby Doo! This "zone" allowed us to skip the medicine they sometimes give to help kids relax before the procedure. For that I was thankful because my thought was that the less medicine they gave her, the quicker she would recover.

Through all of this DOP had her "game face" on and did what had to be done. We've noticed from day 1 that she puts on this certain face that tips us off that she is "coping." She appears very calm, but we, as her parents, know it's just a facade that helps her get through. Nate and I both knew she was nervous, but her "game face" was covering it up to the average observer. Our thoughts were confirmed when more and more nurses and doctors began to congregate around her bed. We knew she was watching what was going on with the other patients in the room, but not letting on. Being no dummy, she knew it was her turn. Again, it was clear to Nate and I when she reached up her little hand to scratch her face and her hand was shaking. It was only a 2 second crack in the facade, but it did a number to my heart. That's when the protective Mama Bear in me came out. It was gonna take a lot for me to now burst into tears with worry.

Well, I managed to get through the rest of the "send off" without crying, but that time frame between when they wheeled her away and we saw the doctor enter the waiting area seemed to take forever! Thank goodness we were starving by this point and fill up some of our time with eating. Otherwise, I would've spent more time than necessary meditating on the "what ifs."

When the doctor came out and said everything went fine, I was relieved, but couldn't wait to be given permission to go into recovery with DOP. FINALLY the phone rang letting me know she was waking up. I must confess I had tears in my eyes all the way down the hallway to recovery. I just love that little girl so much! I couldn't wait to get in there and let her know that mommy and daddy were still there regardless of her response to the meds.

When I walked into the recovery room and saw her little body with all kinds of tubes, monitors, etc on her I couldn't wait for her to recover so we could get outta there. Since we've never done this with DOP, I didn't know what I was walking into. Would the meds make her wild and unlike herself (we've had that happen with one of our other kids) or would she be mellow? Thankfully, she was the mellow type and was ready to leave recovery within 10-15 minutes. Only one person was allowed in there with her at a time. Nate and I anticipated a screaming child that we would need to take turns comforting. We were done so quickly that Nate never even had to come into recovery!

I cannot skip by this one memory of this moment that stands out. When I walked into recovery, Daughter of Purpose, was waking up and had this look of "where am I" on her face. It was a look of uncertainty. There was nothing like that moment when she saw me and all uncertainty was wiped away. It was a look of relief that Mommy was here. Irreplaceable! I hope I never forget that moment.

It didn't take long for us to be out the door and to hear her little voice requesting an "Amburger." She was certainly back to herself. Praise the Lord. At that moment, I would've climbed mountains and walked through high waters just to get her that "Amburger!" Thankfully In-n-Out Burger was just down the freeway so I didn't need to!

After her tummy was full (she hadn't been able to eat since dinner the previous night) she dropped off to sleep as we drove home. She really was quite mellow for the rest of that day. The next day she was back to her normal, talkative self. It was strange to be done and on our way home by 10:30 am. Like I said, it became the day of eternity because we arrived home by 1:30 pm and still had to be parents to the rest of our kids until bedtime even though Nate and I were ready for bed way earlier than usual!

Now what did the doctor say as a result of the procedure? Honestly, nothing we didn't already know. Although he was able to confirm that she has the classic signs of having had polio. Since those signs began showing up in the first month of life, we are unclear as to whether she really did contract it so early in life or whether she got it from her birth mother. We're not sure if that is possible or not. We will address that question when we go over the results of the procedure with her doctor in March.

In March we will return to Shriners for a Surgery Consult. What that means is that we arrive there before the sun again, but this time all of the doctors and residents in the orthopaedic unit will be there. They will all go over her file, the results of the procedure and take a look at her. The purpose of this is two-fold. We will be attempting to see if there is anyone there with any other ideas for her and making a long-range plan for her medical care. Secondly, we will be doing this for the benefit of research. It will greatly enhance future patients with polio to have these doctors and residents learn from DOP's case. We are grateful for those polio patients who went before DOP so that the doctors at Shriners did not throw up their hands at our daughter, like the doctors in our city did because they said polio didn't exist anymore. It may be an early hour to be a part of research, but worth every minute to know that we will be making the difference in the life of another child.

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

The Normal-ness of it All

I must confess I have been terrible about blogging lately. I am so sorry about that! I can't come up with a good reason why except just life itself! In some ways Daughter of Purpose lends me plenty to write about and in some ways she has become so much a part of us that there is nothing out of the ordinary to write about--she's just normal--and that's a good thing! It leads me to wrestle with whether I should bother to blog about the average-ness of our life and bore you to death or whether I should just blog anyway!

At some point over the Christmas season, I saw a switch over for Daughter of Purpose. Somehow I just knew she had stopped thinking in two languages and had switched to English only. Do I think the Russian is still in there? Yes, but I think her primary thought process is in English now. More and more often these days when I speak to her in Russian and she's paying attention, she asks me what I'm saying. Every once in awhile when it just requires a physical response, like "sit down" she responds appropriately. This leads me to believe it is still there subconsciously, but yet when she really thinks about it--she wonders what the heck I'm saying to her.

Another reason I believe her Russian is already on its way out is because when I sat down to do a Rosetta Stone Russian lesson this week, I did better on the lesson than she did. When I would ask her which were the right answers in Russian, she didn't have a clue. When I asked her to say the words in Russian, her pronunciation stumbled over the words like mine did when I first started speaking Russian. It's like as if her tongue has changed its abilities. This is all so very fascinating to me. Never did I think she'd become so much a natural part of us so quickly.

Here are some other indicators that she has slipped into family life in America and doesn't think a thing about it.

- She eats a taco like a pro.
- In-n-Out Burger is her favorite meal and she easily pounds a whole cheeseburger down. She's even has mastered the ability to "work" her grandparents into taking her to get an "Amburger." If only you could hear her sweet little voice saying the word.
- It is no question as to whether she'll eat pizza or not. Upon arrival, she wouldn't touch pizza.
- Each day I place a plate of fruit on the counter for the kids to munch on whenever they are hungry. She so naturally knows to reach her little hand up and get whatever she needs. This "being a part of the family" hit me again last night when I made kettle corn. There was a bowl for Valentines gifts and one for the family to munch on. Daughter of Purpose ran through the kitchen, grabbed a handful of popcorn and continued on her merry way. No thought as to asking first or waiting for me to offer. No thought as to whether this was okay or not. Just a part of the family. Can't imagine she had "grazing privileges" at the orphanage.

Daughter of Purpose knows where things go, knows the routine, and knows what belongs to who and most of the time she uses her words appropriately. I do have to say that I still miss it sometimes when I don't hear her little voice respond to my "I love you" with "I forgive you Mommy." That used to crack me up! She knew that phrase was a proper response to something just not sure which one! Now I hear her sweet little voice make sure to tell me that she loves me and receives her hug and kiss when I tuck her in.

This reminds me of when Nate and I go out on a date. She's one of the first to make sure she's given us a hug, a kiss and an "I love you" before we walk out the door. Some of our kids need that before we leave, but others just wave us goodbye. I love that she offers us that gift as we walk out, but yet doesn't cry about it because she knows we'll return. Her confidence in being a part of our family is solid. She doesn't seem to ever question as to whether we are her family and if we'll return for her. We certainly don't take this lightly. We keep it ever in our mind to make sure to be sensitive to this issue for her. Coming up soon, Nate and I will have the opportunity to spend a few days out of town by ourselves. This will be a big test for Daughter of Purpose to see how she does in that confidence of being a natural part of us. Right now, she is practically kicking us out the door because she wants to go in my friend's pool while were gone, but we'll see how it goes.

Side note, I've given my friend permission to throw Daughter of Purpose in the pool while we're away so that she will understand why she cannot go in the pool in February and stop asking me daily about going swimming! I'll let you know how that turns out.

As you can tell, we're just a normal family and Daughter of Purpose has acclimated well to that normal-ness. We are grateful for that and are glad that we don't feel like we're raising a stranger anymore. It feels more and more like we're raising the child that God intended to be in our family since before time began we just didn't know it.

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."

Topsy-Turvy

This post has to be quick because everything is going topsy-turvy. We knew Daughter of Purpose was scheduled for her procedure tomorrow, but were told we'd have time to drive up in the morning. Ahh!! They just called to tell us that because she is youngest, she goes first and her arrival time to the hospital is 5:30 am!!

It looks like the procedure may really be happening this time so please keep us in your prayers!