On the Contrary

Today we were able to spend more time with our daughter at the orphanage. This morning was the typical routine we have. She plays "hard to get" at first while she adjusts to being in the room with us, but it is full of laughter and smiles. Eventually she comes over and engages in an activity with us. Nothing out of the ordinary. We played a little play dough and just hung out. We worked with her on saying some words in English--that was good. We did not have a tranlator during this time with her, but it was a good thing for us to have the time together and get a taste of what it will be like.

On the contrary, our visit this afternoon was enlightening to say the least. Thus far, we had never seen our daughter cry. We knew that everything was going a bit too smoothly and anticipated that to change once she was in our custody, but we got confirmation of that this afternoon. We had decided in advance that we wanted to either play in her groupa with her this time or go for a walk. We were tired of the same old room and toys. When we arrived, we asked our translator to explain to her that we were going for a walk, grabbed her outside snow clothes and started working on putting them on her. This would be the point that she started crying uncontrollably. It was so sad to hear her cry, but yet such a victorious sound. You see, it means that she is attached to her environment which means she has the ability to attach and bond to our family. Many adopted children are missing that. I know it sounds weird that we wanted to hear her cry, but it really is a good sign.

After we were able to get her to calm down (it was not a quick process), we were able to get her to explain to us why she was crying. She explained to her caregiver that she was crying because she thought we were taking her away today. In retrospect we can see how she thought that. We came in and changed the routine. In fact, we began getting her "ready to go." Poor thing! We always learn better in hindsight so if we were to able to go back and do it again, we would've done it differently. The good news is that once she calmed down she happily came outside in her snow clothes with a doll stroller and baby in hand and went for a walk with us. It was quite enjoyable to have our time with her end on a happy note.

This does bring up a good thing to be mindful of. When we eventually do get custody of our daughter...it will not be a pretty sight taking her from the orphanage. Our first few days/nights with her will not be easy as she greives the loss of the life she has always known. Once we have surpassed court, we will still need your prayers as we adjust to being a family. We are already praying for her that she will feel safe and secure with us.

II Corinthians 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight."