Attachment and bonding are huge issues with adoption and I am happy to say that they are going well for us over here!
Daughter of Purpose certainly loves her siblings and most definitely her Daddy. Who in the world wouldn't love someone that wrestles with them on a daily basis (okay, so maybe I'd have to say that I wouldn't like that--I hate being tickled). Maybe I should say, "What CHILD wouldn't love wrestling and tickling on a daily basis?"
I have also noticed that Daughter of Purpose has picked up that at a certain point in the day we begin doing the same things (the kids doing their chores and Mommy making dinner) and I begin to make coffee for Daddy. She knows that as soon as she sees this activity going on and I pull out the coffee that her Daddy is on his way home and she can barely contain herself with excitement! Once we have the coffee peculating, she is on a hot trail to open the garage door to wait for Daddy to pull in the driveway.
It is clear that since Daughter of Purpose doesn't like being without her siblings and I often see her curled up on the couch with them that they are certainly doing well with attachment and bonding.
Since my oldest daughter was traveling the last two weeks, I wasn't sure what that would do to their relationship, but it was like a sweet reunion between the two today when my oldest daughter returned home. I think that it did a lot for Daughter of Purpose to see that her sister came back just like we promised she would. I thought maybe my older daughter would be resentful of jumping right back into her role or that maybe Daughter of Purpose would be stand-offish, but that was far from the case. The two were practically inseparable today. They were almost giddy with excitement of being back together again. For that--I am grateful.
There have also been some great things on the attachment and bonding front with me and Daughter of Purpose also. At first I felt like "just the caregiver" and everyone else in the family was for the fun-loving stuff, but now that part of our relationship has come around. I am excited about that! Daughter of Purpose often comes up to me and randomly gives me a hug & kiss. My favorite time of day that she gives me those kisses and hugs is at nap time because she has also learned the sign and phrase "I love you" so she signs it and says it to me when I tuck her in for her nap. I love toddler fingers that sign "I love you!" There's nothing else like it!
She also loves to play the "baby game" with me. She comes up and tells me that she wants to be my baby. So I swing her up into my arms and begin rocking her and singing her lullabies. I love the closeness and even though I missed out on her baby years, I still get to sing her the same songs I sang to my biological children. I think she must love it too since at least once per day she asks for this game. I can't help but oblige her!
Having a little trauma will always attach and bond you too. Yesterday, I had to take Daughter of Purpose to the Children's Hospital to get a procedure done and it was...well, let's just say it wasn't her favorite visit to the doctor. I hate to put her through some of these tests, but I do have to say that the pay off in the attachment and bonding realm is that she sticks to me like glue after that. After we got home yesterday, she wanted nothing but Mommy and crawled up on the couch with me and we read books together. That bonding was worth the earlier crying. I love that she knows for sure that I am her Mama!
Daughter of Purpose is amazing me day after day. Each day it becomes more and more clear to me that she was intended for our family since before time began. God knew she would be a part of our family--it just took us awhile to figure it out! I'm thankful that although her route of getting to us was different from the rest, I'm thankful she's here and that we clued in to God's Master Plan.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Daughter of Purpose certainly loves her siblings and most definitely her Daddy. Who in the world wouldn't love someone that wrestles with them on a daily basis (okay, so maybe I'd have to say that I wouldn't like that--I hate being tickled). Maybe I should say, "What CHILD wouldn't love wrestling and tickling on a daily basis?"
I have also noticed that Daughter of Purpose has picked up that at a certain point in the day we begin doing the same things (the kids doing their chores and Mommy making dinner) and I begin to make coffee for Daddy. She knows that as soon as she sees this activity going on and I pull out the coffee that her Daddy is on his way home and she can barely contain herself with excitement! Once we have the coffee peculating, she is on a hot trail to open the garage door to wait for Daddy to pull in the driveway.
It is clear that since Daughter of Purpose doesn't like being without her siblings and I often see her curled up on the couch with them that they are certainly doing well with attachment and bonding.
Since my oldest daughter was traveling the last two weeks, I wasn't sure what that would do to their relationship, but it was like a sweet reunion between the two today when my oldest daughter returned home. I think that it did a lot for Daughter of Purpose to see that her sister came back just like we promised she would. I thought maybe my older daughter would be resentful of jumping right back into her role or that maybe Daughter of Purpose would be stand-offish, but that was far from the case. The two were practically inseparable today. They were almost giddy with excitement of being back together again. For that--I am grateful.
There have also been some great things on the attachment and bonding front with me and Daughter of Purpose also. At first I felt like "just the caregiver" and everyone else in the family was for the fun-loving stuff, but now that part of our relationship has come around. I am excited about that! Daughter of Purpose often comes up to me and randomly gives me a hug & kiss. My favorite time of day that she gives me those kisses and hugs is at nap time because she has also learned the sign and phrase "I love you" so she signs it and says it to me when I tuck her in for her nap. I love toddler fingers that sign "I love you!" There's nothing else like it!
She also loves to play the "baby game" with me. She comes up and tells me that she wants to be my baby. So I swing her up into my arms and begin rocking her and singing her lullabies. I love the closeness and even though I missed out on her baby years, I still get to sing her the same songs I sang to my biological children. I think she must love it too since at least once per day she asks for this game. I can't help but oblige her!
Having a little trauma will always attach and bond you too. Yesterday, I had to take Daughter of Purpose to the Children's Hospital to get a procedure done and it was...well, let's just say it wasn't her favorite visit to the doctor. I hate to put her through some of these tests, but I do have to say that the pay off in the attachment and bonding realm is that she sticks to me like glue after that. After we got home yesterday, she wanted nothing but Mommy and crawled up on the couch with me and we read books together. That bonding was worth the earlier crying. I love that she knows for sure that I am her Mama!
Daughter of Purpose is amazing me day after day. Each day it becomes more and more clear to me that she was intended for our family since before time began. God knew she would be a part of our family--it just took us awhile to figure it out! I'm thankful that although her route of getting to us was different from the rest, I'm thankful she's here and that we clued in to God's Master Plan.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
1 comment:
I understand with the bonding issue. Paul bonded with Sammy very quickly but for a while I also felt like just a care giver when we got him at 5 weeks old. But with Ethan at 5 months old, he was hard to bond with anyone. It was a real tough issue but time and prayer helped. You have been blessed with such a loving daughter with a sweet spirit.
Anne
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