As Daughter of Purpose increases in her English, so does her ability to sing in English. If there is one thing that we have found Daughter of Purpose to love, it is most definitely music. She just can't seem to get enough of it. I even think it is helping her English skills. I have even thought that as we get ready to start the Awana year, that maybe I should consider teaching her the weekly verses with music.
With her love of music in mind, I do have to say that some of my favorite moments have come as I've listened to Daughter of Purpose belt out her English songs. There was that moment that she was trucking along in the car with us and joined in with a Newsboys song, "Your Love is Better Than Life." It is a family thing to turn up that song and sing it at the top of our lungs--thank you Daddy for that one. It sort of like an initiation for our family and I think she passed!
Each Sunday Daughter of Purpose goes into the church service with us--the adults. It is music to my ears to listen to her sing along with all of us. Some songs she doesn't know the words, but she is sure trying! Then there was the Sunday that "Never Let Go" by Matt Redman was sung. It was a VBS song this year and now we were singing it in the adult service. You should've seen her face light up when she realized that she knew this song! You should've heard her singing that day! Oh yes, maybe you did hear it. I'm pretty sure everyone in the world heard it!
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Saturday, August 30, 2008
The Gap
Life is pluggin' away over here. Can't say there's anything out of the ordinary to report about. We started school this week and Daughter of Purpose jumped right into our routine. In fact, as I write she came and asked me when school starts this morning. Not today--it's Saturday!
As I've written before, Daughter of Purpose is speaking more English than Russian now. In fact, I am finding that she says at least one word or concept per day that I didn't think she understood, but yet she obviously does. The one that is escaping her though is the concept of "today, tomorrow, yesterday." She often says to me when I tuck her in at night, "What are you doing tonight, Mom?" At first, I thought she really wanted to know what Nathan and I were going to do after she went to bed. I thought she was getting awful personal, but after awhile I caught on that she really means, "What are we doing tomorrow?"
I am finding the mental power I have to engage in with her is not getting easier, but harder. Now that she has a large English vocabulary, she is beginning to use it to tell me about things past. The other day she told me all about how it really bothered her when Nathan and I took off down the beach on 4th of July holding hands for a picture. She couldn't see us at first and didn't know where we were and then once she spotted us, she didn't know where we were going so it really scared her. I had no clue about that, but yet found it interesting that she needed to make sure that I knew about that. It was like as if she realized that now that she had the words, she could let it out.
All of this makes me wonder what is in store for me. As she increases in her ability to tell me about the past, what will she tell me? As of yet, we have not engaged in any conversations about her time in the orphanage or shown her any pictures from that time of her life. We are waiting until we know there will not be a gap in communication. It's an awfully touchy subject. I can imagine it might be quite emotional. We want to make sure there is no gap because we want to make sure she fully understands that she is here for good. She's not going back there. As the gap rapidly decreases, I realize those conversations and showing her the pictures are right around the corner. I certainly don't want to hide her first 4 years of life from her, but it's kind of scary at the same time. Will I be opening up a can of worms? What if I open it and wish I could get the lid back on?
For now, we have begun to bridge the gap with simple conversations about why we root for America and Russia during the Olympics. For now, we look at the world map on the wall in our school room and talk about how Daughter of Purpose used to live in Russia, went on an airplane to America and now she lives here with us in America. For now, I will rest in today and not worry about what tomorrow's conversations may bring.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
As I've written before, Daughter of Purpose is speaking more English than Russian now. In fact, I am finding that she says at least one word or concept per day that I didn't think she understood, but yet she obviously does. The one that is escaping her though is the concept of "today, tomorrow, yesterday." She often says to me when I tuck her in at night, "What are you doing tonight, Mom?" At first, I thought she really wanted to know what Nathan and I were going to do after she went to bed. I thought she was getting awful personal, but after awhile I caught on that she really means, "What are we doing tomorrow?"
I am finding the mental power I have to engage in with her is not getting easier, but harder. Now that she has a large English vocabulary, she is beginning to use it to tell me about things past. The other day she told me all about how it really bothered her when Nathan and I took off down the beach on 4th of July holding hands for a picture. She couldn't see us at first and didn't know where we were and then once she spotted us, she didn't know where we were going so it really scared her. I had no clue about that, but yet found it interesting that she needed to make sure that I knew about that. It was like as if she realized that now that she had the words, she could let it out.
All of this makes me wonder what is in store for me. As she increases in her ability to tell me about the past, what will she tell me? As of yet, we have not engaged in any conversations about her time in the orphanage or shown her any pictures from that time of her life. We are waiting until we know there will not be a gap in communication. It's an awfully touchy subject. I can imagine it might be quite emotional. We want to make sure there is no gap because we want to make sure she fully understands that she is here for good. She's not going back there. As the gap rapidly decreases, I realize those conversations and showing her the pictures are right around the corner. I certainly don't want to hide her first 4 years of life from her, but it's kind of scary at the same time. Will I be opening up a can of worms? What if I open it and wish I could get the lid back on?
For now, we have begun to bridge the gap with simple conversations about why we root for America and Russia during the Olympics. For now, we look at the world map on the wall in our school room and talk about how Daughter of Purpose used to live in Russia, went on an airplane to America and now she lives here with us in America. For now, I will rest in today and not worry about what tomorrow's conversations may bring.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Shoes
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Let me tell you a little story and let you enjoy with me how a pair of shoes have come full circle.
I think every person who decides to adopt, especially those who feel a leading from the Lord to adopt, thinks that that their personal path along the adoption journey will be paved with gold. When we realize where God is leading, it's easy to think that because we are being obedient to the Lord then it will be easy street. I've seen it in others and experienced it myself.
I've heard it said that "Life is about the journey, not the destination." Well, with adoption, yes it is most certainly about the destination--your future child--but I will testify that I am not the same person today that I was when this journey began. My adoption journey did not turn out to be paved with gold, but for that, I am thankful. I can't say that I was entirely thankful along the way, but I am now.
Along that journey, there were many times of discouragement and wondering if God had really called us to this child. In those times was when God gave me little things like shoes to remind me of His presence and to encourage me to press on. My friend and I began to refer to them as His fingerprints.
About 5 months into this journey, we had a particularly discouraging time. I was questioning everything and worrying like crazy. While I was agonizing over all of this, I decided to delve into a bag of hand-me-down clothes that a family we barely know had given us about 3 months previous. I had never looked in the bag until this point. I knew that it was full of girl clothes for our oldest daughter, but didn't think much more past that.
When I began to dig into the bag, I stumbled upon 2 pairs of little girl shoes--like toddler size. At the time, my oldest daughter was 7-years-old so obviously they were not intended for her. Everything else in the bag was age appropriate for her. These precious little girl shoes stood out from everything else. I went over and over in my head as to whether this family knew of our adoption plans because at the time, no one really knew. I even thought through the dynamics of this family and could not think of anyone in their family that would've worn those shoes. Remember their girls were bigger than our oldest daughter.
After the few seconds it took me to process through all of those thoughts, I held out the little shoes to my oldest daughter who knew of my doubts. Here is what I wrote in my journal that day after this event. It tells you best of what my oldest daughter's response was.
"The best part about the whole thing was when I showed my oldest daughter and she said, 'Well, we know what size she is now, huh, Mommy?' What incredible faith and insight she has! What an incredibly personal gift God has given me in those shoes to renew my hope! What perfect timing!"
Had I happened on those shoes even a few weeks earlier, it wouldn't have been the same. I did end up asking that family about those shoes. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know if they knew something I didn't know. Their response? They don't remember putting them in the bag and like me, can't figure out who they would've come from. They had no idea of our adoption plans. Sounds like a fingerprint to me, especially now that Daughter of Purpose is home. If I look at her foot size now and think back to that time frame, I would bet that she was precisely that size--just like my oldest daughter said.
So what ever happened to those shoes? We put those shoes in our bathroom to remind us to pray daily for her--our future Daughter of Purpose. They also reminded us of what God had called us to do when we were discouraged--to press on and fill those shoes.
Well, now she's here and what has ever become of those shoes? They certainly don't fit her now since she's grown so much, but they still sit on our counter in our bathroom. They are still there to remind us of what God has done. Those shoes came full circle a few weeks ago when Daughter of Purpose was in the bathroom with me.
Daughter of Purpose said to me, "Mama, what are those shoes doing there?" It was then that I was able to tell her the story of those shoes and how they reminded me to pray for her each day while she was at the orphanage in Russia. There was no moment more precious than when she said to me, "Mama, you prayed for me?"
"I most certainly did. I most certainly did, child, and I will until the Lord calls me home."
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
I think every person who decides to adopt, especially those who feel a leading from the Lord to adopt, thinks that that their personal path along the adoption journey will be paved with gold. When we realize where God is leading, it's easy to think that because we are being obedient to the Lord then it will be easy street. I've seen it in others and experienced it myself.
I've heard it said that "Life is about the journey, not the destination." Well, with adoption, yes it is most certainly about the destination--your future child--but I will testify that I am not the same person today that I was when this journey began. My adoption journey did not turn out to be paved with gold, but for that, I am thankful. I can't say that I was entirely thankful along the way, but I am now.
Along that journey, there were many times of discouragement and wondering if God had really called us to this child. In those times was when God gave me little things like shoes to remind me of His presence and to encourage me to press on. My friend and I began to refer to them as His fingerprints.
About 5 months into this journey, we had a particularly discouraging time. I was questioning everything and worrying like crazy. While I was agonizing over all of this, I decided to delve into a bag of hand-me-down clothes that a family we barely know had given us about 3 months previous. I had never looked in the bag until this point. I knew that it was full of girl clothes for our oldest daughter, but didn't think much more past that.
When I began to dig into the bag, I stumbled upon 2 pairs of little girl shoes--like toddler size. At the time, my oldest daughter was 7-years-old so obviously they were not intended for her. Everything else in the bag was age appropriate for her. These precious little girl shoes stood out from everything else. I went over and over in my head as to whether this family knew of our adoption plans because at the time, no one really knew. I even thought through the dynamics of this family and could not think of anyone in their family that would've worn those shoes. Remember their girls were bigger than our oldest daughter.
After the few seconds it took me to process through all of those thoughts, I held out the little shoes to my oldest daughter who knew of my doubts. Here is what I wrote in my journal that day after this event. It tells you best of what my oldest daughter's response was.
"The best part about the whole thing was when I showed my oldest daughter and she said, 'Well, we know what size she is now, huh, Mommy?' What incredible faith and insight she has! What an incredibly personal gift God has given me in those shoes to renew my hope! What perfect timing!"
Had I happened on those shoes even a few weeks earlier, it wouldn't have been the same. I did end up asking that family about those shoes. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know if they knew something I didn't know. Their response? They don't remember putting them in the bag and like me, can't figure out who they would've come from. They had no idea of our adoption plans. Sounds like a fingerprint to me, especially now that Daughter of Purpose is home. If I look at her foot size now and think back to that time frame, I would bet that she was precisely that size--just like my oldest daughter said.
So what ever happened to those shoes? We put those shoes in our bathroom to remind us to pray daily for her--our future Daughter of Purpose. They also reminded us of what God had called us to do when we were discouraged--to press on and fill those shoes.
Well, now she's here and what has ever become of those shoes? They certainly don't fit her now since she's grown so much, but they still sit on our counter in our bathroom. They are still there to remind us of what God has done. Those shoes came full circle a few weeks ago when Daughter of Purpose was in the bathroom with me.
Daughter of Purpose said to me, "Mama, what are those shoes doing there?" It was then that I was able to tell her the story of those shoes and how they reminded me to pray for her each day while she was at the orphanage in Russia. There was no moment more precious than when she said to me, "Mama, you prayed for me?"
"I most certainly did. I most certainly did, child, and I will until the Lord calls me home."
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Life Motto
I haven't been able to pull together all of the pictures I wanted to share with you. Maybe another day. What I wanted to show you was all of the pictures of the kids doing VBS this year. We did VBS at my parents church to practice for VBS at our church. It was a good opportunity for Daughter of Purpose to get used to her siblings coming and going.
When it came to the week of our VBS, I stayed with her and committed myself to her group, but with the hope that she would become comfortable and allow me to come and go also. We had victory with this. At the beginning of the week, she check with me about every 5-10 minutes with, "Mama nee-yet bye-bye?" I would gently remind her that I was not leaving. The second day, the intervals in between these inquiries was greater. So she was becoming more comfortable.
By Wednesday morning of that week, Daughter of Purpose bolted down the aisle of the church at the beginning. I hung back to see what she would do. Without looking back, she found her group and joined in with the music. Once music was done, she started asking for me so they came and found me.
By day 4, she did the same thing and was willing to let me come and go. By the last day, I simply dropped her off and then picked her up at the end. That is such a huge victory! I actually went off campus and enjoyed a Starbucks all by myself to celebrate!
The picture above is quite telling of her life. I think it is picture perfect.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Future Olympic Swimmer
I think these must be the words of a future Olympic swimmer.
This morning I woke up to Daughter of Purpose walking into my room with her goggles on (mind you, she had just gotten up herself). I said to her, "Why do you have your goggles on?" Her response, "I hold them for when we go pool."
A few minutes later as I was downstairs getting some coffee, I heard a duplicate conversation with her brother. Only this time he explained to her that we weren't going to the pool today. Her response, "I hold them because maybe we go to pool. I ready."
I just had to laugh and record these words just in case...just in case she beats the odds and does something great with her love of swimming!
Editor's Note: Later in this same day, Daughter of Purpose was going outside and thought it bright enough to need sunglasses. Never wanting to abandon her goggles, this is how I found her. Goggles stored atop the head with sunglasses also firmly in place. LOL!!
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
This morning I woke up to Daughter of Purpose walking into my room with her goggles on (mind you, she had just gotten up herself). I said to her, "Why do you have your goggles on?" Her response, "I hold them for when we go pool."
A few minutes later as I was downstairs getting some coffee, I heard a duplicate conversation with her brother. Only this time he explained to her that we weren't going to the pool today. Her response, "I hold them because maybe we go to pool. I ready."
I just had to laugh and record these words just in case...just in case she beats the odds and does something great with her love of swimming!
Editor's Note: Later in this same day, Daughter of Purpose was going outside and thought it bright enough to need sunglasses. Never wanting to abandon her goggles, this is how I found her. Goggles stored atop the head with sunglasses also firmly in place. LOL!!
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Shriners Hospital
We have great news! We have been to Shriners Hospital and we now have a plan for Daughter of Purpose. Our visit was long (about 5 hours), but well worth it.
Initially our visit was not looking very promising. The Resident who came in to assess our situation didn't have the greatest "bedside manner", especially for working with children. Daughter of Purpose never really warmed up to him and we didn't really feel like he did a thorough job of getting her full story. He left us thinking that our daughter's needs were spread across three different specialties of medicine and that since different specialties don't work well together that she would fall through the cracks and not get the care she needs. He told us that he didn't know if the hospital would be able to help her. At that point, we thought we had wasted our time.
After getting a bunch of x-rays done to be assessed, we were finally able to meet the "real" doctor. Let's just say that amazing was not a good enough word for her. Daughter of Purpose immediately warmed up to her because she walked into the room with a smile and was ready to play. She played with Daughter of Purpose and was able to assess her in that manner. Our daughter thought it was great! The doctor listened to her story and asked intelligent questions--ones that signified that she was fully grasping our daughter and her needs.
Once we established with the doctor that none of us were sold on the Russian diagnosis for our daughter's muscle weakness in her legs, we made a plan to have Daughter of Purpose come back for another appointment to meet with a Neuromuscular doctor. We were all on the same page that we need to get to the bottom of what has caused her muscle weakness. From that we can make an accurate plan for her medical care.
For now, we have established that Daughter of Purpose will greatly benefit from a KAFO on her right leg. A KAFO is basically a brace for her leg. It stands for Knee-Ankle-Foot-Orthosis. If it only went to her knee (which we hope for her future), it would then be an AFO and would only go to right below her knee. After meeting with the Physical Therapist, we were able to get a mold done of our daughter's leg so that they can make a KAFO especially for her.
We will go back in a few weeks to pick up her KAFO and make sure it properly fits. After that, we wait for her neuromuscular appointment. Once all of that is done, we meet with her amazing doctor again to map out a long-term plan.
We are so grateful for Shriners Hospital. They have given us what we've been searching for since we brought Daughter of Purpose home--hope--hope that she may be able to walk close to normal some day. Maybe she won't play soccer or baseball, but now we're able to offer her a future she wouldn't have had in Russia.
As we sit and watch the Olympics each night, Daughter of Purpose tells me all about how she is going to do that (whatever sport is on) someday and that I, Mommy, will sit in the crowd and yell, "Yeah, Daughter of Purpose!!" I don't know what her future holds, but you can bet that it will give me no greater joy than to be my daughter's cheerleader. This visit to Shriners was just one step in that direction.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Initially our visit was not looking very promising. The Resident who came in to assess our situation didn't have the greatest "bedside manner", especially for working with children. Daughter of Purpose never really warmed up to him and we didn't really feel like he did a thorough job of getting her full story. He left us thinking that our daughter's needs were spread across three different specialties of medicine and that since different specialties don't work well together that she would fall through the cracks and not get the care she needs. He told us that he didn't know if the hospital would be able to help her. At that point, we thought we had wasted our time.
After getting a bunch of x-rays done to be assessed, we were finally able to meet the "real" doctor. Let's just say that amazing was not a good enough word for her. Daughter of Purpose immediately warmed up to her because she walked into the room with a smile and was ready to play. She played with Daughter of Purpose and was able to assess her in that manner. Our daughter thought it was great! The doctor listened to her story and asked intelligent questions--ones that signified that she was fully grasping our daughter and her needs.
Once we established with the doctor that none of us were sold on the Russian diagnosis for our daughter's muscle weakness in her legs, we made a plan to have Daughter of Purpose come back for another appointment to meet with a Neuromuscular doctor. We were all on the same page that we need to get to the bottom of what has caused her muscle weakness. From that we can make an accurate plan for her medical care.
For now, we have established that Daughter of Purpose will greatly benefit from a KAFO on her right leg. A KAFO is basically a brace for her leg. It stands for Knee-Ankle-Foot-Orthosis. If it only went to her knee (which we hope for her future), it would then be an AFO and would only go to right below her knee. After meeting with the Physical Therapist, we were able to get a mold done of our daughter's leg so that they can make a KAFO especially for her.
We will go back in a few weeks to pick up her KAFO and make sure it properly fits. After that, we wait for her neuromuscular appointment. Once all of that is done, we meet with her amazing doctor again to map out a long-term plan.
We are so grateful for Shriners Hospital. They have given us what we've been searching for since we brought Daughter of Purpose home--hope--hope that she may be able to walk close to normal some day. Maybe she won't play soccer or baseball, but now we're able to offer her a future she wouldn't have had in Russia.
As we sit and watch the Olympics each night, Daughter of Purpose tells me all about how she is going to do that (whatever sport is on) someday and that I, Mommy, will sit in the crowd and yell, "Yeah, Daughter of Purpose!!" I don't know what her future holds, but you can bet that it will give me no greater joy than to be my daughter's cheerleader. This visit to Shriners was just one step in that direction.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Gearing Up
Well, I don't have all of the pictures I need to post and show you what we've done over the last few weeks that wore us out so that will have to wait...
At the moment, we are gearing up to start school, but more importantly, we are getting ready for our Shriner's visit at the end of this week. At the moment, 4 of the 5 children in our house have got the sniffles. Our oldest daughter has gotten it the worst and she was supposed to go with us. However, we can leave her home, if necessary. It's Daughter of Purpose that we are urgently praying doesn't get sick before her visit this week. Yes, we could reschedule the appointment if we needed, but we are so looking forward to this day that we would be so let down if we had to wait longer. Please join us in praying for Daughter of Purpose to remain healthy through the weekend. Next week, she can be sick all she wants! We'll let you know how our visit goes once we're back.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
At the moment, we are gearing up to start school, but more importantly, we are getting ready for our Shriner's visit at the end of this week. At the moment, 4 of the 5 children in our house have got the sniffles. Our oldest daughter has gotten it the worst and she was supposed to go with us. However, we can leave her home, if necessary. It's Daughter of Purpose that we are urgently praying doesn't get sick before her visit this week. Yes, we could reschedule the appointment if we needed, but we are so looking forward to this day that we would be so let down if we had to wait longer. Please join us in praying for Daughter of Purpose to remain healthy through the weekend. Next week, she can be sick all she wants! We'll let you know how our visit goes once we're back.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Guitar Heroes
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It's been an absolutely, insanely crazy week so I have the grand ambition of doing a post for you soon. I am trying to catch a few winks of sleep and am also waiting for a few pictures to show you what we've been doing this week. For now...here are some Guitar Heroes that reside in our home.1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
Friday, August 1, 2008
Imagination
Daughter of Purpose is now speaking more English than Russian (I can't believe it happened so quickly!), but a sure sign that she is blending into our family is the use of her imagination. I had noticed off and on a bit of playing along with the kids in their creative play, but recently have noticed a full-bore use of her imagination.Earlier this week, Daughter of Purpose got herself into some trouble and lost the privilege of going to the pool. While Daddy took all of her siblings to the pool and I stayed home with her, she decided to unleash her creativity (after a good cry) and make her own pool experience. It was quite a sight. She and her siblings had thrown a bunch of pillows and blankets on the floor and were jumping off of the couch into the "pool" before they left. Daughter of Purpose took advantage of this set-up and decided that if she couldn't go swimming with the rest of the family then she would still find a way to go. It cracked me up because she got out her goggles, flippers and even wanted a towel. When she was "cold" she had me wrap her in a towel so she could warm up. She even showed me many tricks off the "diving board" and had me cuddle with her while she was wrapped up in her towel after she was done swimming.
I am in awe of how she has adjusted to our family. From picking up on English at the speed of light to the ability to use her imagination in a new language. Sometimes it seems like she's always been here.
1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."
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