Shoes

Let me tell you a little story and let you enjoy with me how a pair of shoes have come full circle.

I think every person who decides to adopt, especially those who feel a leading from the Lord to adopt, thinks that that their personal path along the adoption journey will be paved with gold. When we realize where God is leading, it's easy to think that because we are being obedient to the Lord then it will be easy street. I've seen it in others and experienced it myself.

I've heard it said that "Life is about the journey, not the destination." Well, with adoption, yes it is most certainly about the destination--your future child--but I will testify that I am not the same person today that I was when this journey began. My adoption journey did not turn out to be paved with gold, but for that, I am thankful. I can't say that I was entirely thankful along the way, but I am now.

Along that journey, there were many times of discouragement and wondering if God had really called us to this child. In those times was when God gave me little things like shoes to remind me of His presence and to encourage me to press on. My friend and I began to refer to them as His fingerprints.

About 5 months into this journey, we had a particularly discouraging time. I was questioning everything and worrying like crazy. While I was agonizing over all of this, I decided to delve into a bag of hand-me-down clothes that a family we barely know had given us about 3 months previous. I had never looked in the bag until this point. I knew that it was full of girl clothes for our oldest daughter, but didn't think much more past that.

When I began to dig into the bag, I stumbled upon 2 pairs of little girl shoes--like toddler size. At the time, my oldest daughter was 7-years-old so obviously they were not intended for her. Everything else in the bag was age appropriate for her. These precious little girl shoes stood out from everything else. I went over and over in my head as to whether this family knew of our adoption plans because at the time, no one really knew. I even thought through the dynamics of this family and could not think of anyone in their family that would've worn those shoes. Remember their girls were bigger than our oldest daughter.

After the few seconds it took me to process through all of those thoughts, I held out the little shoes to my oldest daughter who knew of my doubts. Here is what I wrote in my journal that day after this event. It tells you best of what my oldest daughter's response was.

"The best part about the whole thing was when I showed my oldest daughter and she said, 'Well, we know what size she is now, huh, Mommy?' What incredible faith and insight she has! What an incredibly personal gift God has given me in those shoes to renew my hope! What perfect timing!"

Had I happened on those shoes even a few weeks earlier, it wouldn't have been the same. I did end up asking that family about those shoes. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know if they knew something I didn't know. Their response? They don't remember putting them in the bag and like me, can't figure out who they would've come from. They had no idea of our adoption plans. Sounds like a fingerprint to me, especially now that Daughter of Purpose is home. If I look at her foot size now and think back to that time frame, I would bet that she was precisely that size--just like my oldest daughter said.

So what ever happened to those shoes? We put those shoes in our bathroom to remind us to pray daily for her--our future Daughter of Purpose. They also reminded us of what God had called us to do when we were discouraged--to press on and fill those shoes.

Well, now she's here and what has ever become of those shoes? They certainly don't fit her now since she's grown so much, but they still sit on our counter in our bathroom. They are still there to remind us of what God has done. Those shoes came full circle a few weeks ago when Daughter of Purpose was in the bathroom with me.

Daughter of Purpose said to me, "Mama, what are those shoes doing there?" It was then that I was able to tell her the story of those shoes and how they reminded me to pray for her each day while she was at the orphanage in Russia. There was no moment more precious than when she said to me, "Mama, you prayed for me?"

"I most certainly did. I most certainly did, child, and I will until the Lord calls me home."

1 Samuel 1:27 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him."